Here are the details of my frustration: Yes, my job is challenging -- everyone's is. However, the last month of the first semester left many of us newbies feeling overwhelmed. From grading final exams, to entering grades (in multiple places on a website that is all in Turkish! Thank you to my department head for her help!), to students' behavior, to general chaos, it just felt like too much. Several of us comforted each other as we struggled to figure out just how to do our jobs the best we could given the newness of it all. After many emails and several bitch sessions, we supported each other the best we could. It was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in my funk.
It wasn't so much living far away (part of it), or the continued challenges of living in a foreign country (some of it), or not knowing the system (more of it), but mostly just a combination of all of thee above and then some. Working within the education system in Turkey has definitely been an education unto itself. While it sounds rather obvious, I learned that I can't just teach English to tenth graders like I did in the US. Duh.
From my limited experience here, there are many factors that contribute to a student sitting in my class. From what I can gather, children are highly protected from natural consequences. Coddled some may call it. Discipline appears to be obscure. Even more so because I an working for a for-profit school. My limited experience as a public educator in the states didn't really prepare me for what that meant. Again, from what I see, it means that most behavior is tolerated. Behavior that would have most students on a discipline contract within a heartbeat in the US. This isn't to say all students behave horribly; it's to say there are limited options when a student does behavior inappropriately. (Oh, what I would give for Mr. Kaufman to talk with the Turkish Ministry of Education! :)
Additionally, while all three schools in my "district" have an entrance exam, my school takes the lowest scores from all over Turkey. Each school has a cut off score; TAC is the lowest and at the beginning of the school year that number was lowered in order to increase enrollment. Again, this doesn't mean that students with lower scores are behavior problems, but it does create a different clientele.
Finally, there is a system of tradition that is quite strong at TAC. The other three schools do not have such a tradition. While students see the tradition as a way to help teach respect to younger students, those of us on the outside see it as bullying. It's a fine line to walk -- one of creating a respectful tradition and one of instilled fear. And, as I stated earlier, discipline is a bit mysterious. Something about honor points, discipline committees composed of students' peers -- no detention after school or at lunch time, no in-school suspension, no out-of-school suspension, no truancy court, no expulsion. I have not seen any of these implemented within my first semester of being here.
Cajoling. Convincing. Listening. Give. Take. Ebb. Flow. Push. Pull. It's a fun dance to convince any student to learn, but here, I'm exhausted (another contributing factor). Sadly, it's too much for so little in return. Again, I do want to say that this isn't all students, but those of us in the profession know, that it's the exhausting students who drain us.
I'm not ready to go back to work tomorrow, but then again, I don't think I've ever met anyone who said, "Yeah, it's Monday. I get to go back to work!" :) I'm hoping second semester is a little easier. A little more familiar. A little less "new" and a little more routine.
That's a glimpse of what prompted my post. I hope that clarifies, but my guess is that it leaves you with more questions than answers. Sorry. I'm living it, and I'm still not quite sure how it works ! :) Thank you for everyone who contacted me just to check on me. I really do appreciate it. And, I must say you are all doing very well on the replying. Thank you! I miss you all!
P.S. I promise the next post will be wild! :) Stay tuned.
Very, very interesting cultural analysis Stacey. I can't wait to hear how your understanding changes over time. Your comments on the 'honor culture' was especially intriguing, sort of like what might happen here in a Military Academy or (ouch) in a college fraternity?
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